With the highs come the inevitable lows
Of course, along with the great high of last Friday where I expounded on the greatness of professional childcare and my ever loving devotion to educated care givers around the world, comes the lows.
Eliza likes childcare, really she does. Diane, other care givers, other parents… they all tell me that after I leave she stops crying almost right away and goes off in search of a ball, a car, a zebra, to slide down the ramp mat or to find the coveted unicorn horse thingy with jingle wheels (toys are wierd). It’s a whole bunch of fun there and I know she has fun because while I’m there with Franklin she’s practically dragging him around to show him everything (actually, it goes both ways. Franklin has a blast there). However, when it’s time to go… it breaks my heart. Watching her cry on Diane shoulder as I walk out of there isn’t easy.
All of that hasn’t changed since last week, however. What has changed is her opinion of me and it’s not very favorable.
She has decided – since I’m the one who drops her off – that she doesn’t really like me all that much anymore. She much prefers Dickson – who picks her up everyday. This is our theory on her behaviour, anyway. It has made me feel both mentally and physically crushed. I remember how exhausting it was when Franklin went through this stage and only wanted me. I feel bad for Dickson but I still feel horrible. I know it’s only a stage. I’ve been reading up on it and we’ve been working on at least not fostering the behavior and making it worse. This has worked somewhat and tonight I got to get her ready for bed, read her stories and sing her to sleep all without protest. I even got a snuggle and a few kisses.
So it’s a stage and hey! the bright side! I get a lot more time with Franklin and other things get done while Dickson does all the changing and comforting for the little girl. Our floors are clean! The laundry’s done! I’m working full time and we have a clean kitchen!
I’m trying to be positive about it all but you know what? Although I value the opportunity to work and I truly believe in professional childcare, it sucked this morning. It really sucked.