FAIL
Sometimes you want to do something really badly. You want to do it perfectly. You are so scared of not doing it perfectly that you avoid it – knowing that every day that it remains undone is another way you are not doing it (perfectly).
So now it’s to a point that it is beyond about doing it perfectly. Now it’s at a point that it is a mess. Now you are letting people down and messing around with future lives.
Now you can safely say that you have failed.
I am sorry.
Both comments and pings are currently closed.
I will assume that this is about it being impossible for you to get your job done because of everybody being sick. Totally out of your hands, Ada! I know that doesn’t make it feel any better for you or for anybody who has been inconvenienced. But you know and your co-workers know that you did the right thing (and really what were your options?) by staying home. Are you able to go back now? Is there anything you can do from home if not? Does it make you feel any better to know that you all won at fighting a brutal flu? It’ll make fresh air, the company of friends and healthy appetites feel all that much sweeter when you’ve recovered from being so down and so isolated. And now that perfect is out of the way (says the my own worst enemy perfectionist herself) you can just slug away at getting shit done. And you’ll get lots of other chances to do it the way you really want to do it, with other people. Tell Dickson to give you a hug, right now Damnit!
Honestly? I feel like that is the story of my own life, particularly with my work and projects. I am working on changing that, one tiny bit at a time (removing self-imposed obstacles is very, very hard), but still feeling like I’m failing at halting the fail.
*HUGS*
I wish I could help. Can I? Let me know.
This is something that I need to take responsibility for and I wanted to publicly apologize to some people who deserved better. This is not a request for my friends to try and console me by saying supportive and understanding things.
I’m no longer going to allow comments here because of this. Sorry. It’s not a cry for help, just a silly and inadequate way to say I’m sorry to some dear friends.