my yoga instructor this morning:

just something to think about...

I took my first "Restorative Yoga" class today.

I was very surprised at how challenging it was at times yet how relaxed I was at the end of the session.
It is always relaxing after yoga but I really enjoyed this class.

There were only about 6 other people - all women - so it was very intimate. Most of the woman were injured in some way and were there for a kind of yoga conditioning and relaxation.
The woman next to me was in an accident and had metal pins surgically planted into her back for reconstruction. She was so positive and really enjoyed herself.
We talked a little about the baby coming too. She said it was one of the most wonderful things in the world and that the amount of knowledge gained by this experience will be immense. I think I believe her.

For a long time I deliberated the morality of having children in North America. The amount of waste we expel and energy we consume, and then to add one more member to the masses...
It seemed selfish to enter into parenting without a clear sense of yourself and leading a responsible lifestyle. Perhaps it is still selfish to have children in a way, it depends on your sense of self.

Regardless, I respect my friends and their views on the world since having children. I think there is a definite awakening for those with their eyes open enough to feel the experience.

I feel very fortunate to have the opportunity to decide to raise a child.

Ugh!!!!

Ever have one of those days when you feel like you can't really do anything right?
I had one of those days today.

On the bright side, we met the midwife today and everything seems to be going smoothly. The visit was good.
Apparently, I have developed an extra heartbeat every once and awhile but that is nothing to get too excited about as this occurs in many pregnant woman in order to accommodate the increase in blood flow.

oh yuk, speaking of increased blood flow... my nose is bleeding.
gotta go.

No walk to work today. I gave myself a terrible blister on my day off with improper shoes and fast walking and I am still paying for it.

I'm going to try and do the step-master today though. I haven't been on that thing since the middle of the first trimester.

I enjoy it actually. I get to turn my mind off for while and veg out to the rhythm on the machine. It's a lot like walking I suppose except there is so much to look at when I walk. I prefer the rhythm of running.

I see my midwife tomorrow for a complete physical exam. D is coming with me so it should be fun. I have some important questions to ask too.

Things I worry about:

1) Will I be a good Mom?
2) Will my child be healthy and happy?
3) How long can I function sanely without sleep?
4) Will I keep my goals and ambitions after our family begins?
5) How much bigger am I gonna get?
6) Do I look fat in this?
7) Can someone overload on yoga?
8) Exactly how much money does it take to raise a child?
9) Will those textbooks get here on time?
10) I owe my dentist money and I keep forgetting to stop by and pay him...

just silly things that run through my mind..

Tomorrow I have the day off! Yay!

I am going to see if a friend of mine would like some free baby-sitting for her 18 month old and 3 week old - with her supervision of course. I'm trying to get as much practice under my belt as possible.

I have this theory that babies are like horses. They can smell fear. If you are nervous and anxious, your baby will sense it and cry it's lungs out due to the fact that it doesn't feel safe with a crazy Mom holding him or her.
I know, I know, it doesn't make a lot of sense...
I still want to get as much practice in as possible - for my own peace of mind.

I'm also going shopping for a new bikini bottom... wish me luck.

I still laugh at myself when I forget that I'm pregnant and I look down and wonder,
Hey! That's a mighty big stomach you've got going there Ada!

Can you believe that I actually forget that I'm pregnant?
I mean, I love this feeling but I actually forget from time to time!

I feel so excited when the baby is moving inside of me. I have even started to play a little bit. Whenever I feel a little foot or head I try to tickle back or poke in playfully. I hope I'm not alarming the poor tyke.

By the way, writing like this, avoiding pronouns and such, is getting more and more difficult. Nevertheless, there are some people out there who prefer not to know they tell me.

What I'd like to know is, why not?
If you could get back to me on this, I'd love to know...

So, the nesting continues I suppose.

I noticed that Claire has also got a bit of the nesting bug so I thought I'd share what my project in the works is.
I've decided to make my own crib bedding. The only problem is that I'm not sure if I have found just the right material for it all. I've come across a great Japanese style wave pattern in a quilting store in Market Square though! I think it might work.

At first I wanted to get some vintage alphabet fabric like this but the sites I've seen it on either do not deliver out of the United States or I have to be an actual store and order bulk. As a result,I might have to settle for something else.
No matter, something more simple would almost be better.

Happy Father's Day to my Dad. I respect him very much. I will never forget the trip we took to Africa and France together. I love to listen to him talk about all the things he's has seen and done and wants to do.
He's a very intelligent man and I think quietly sensitive as well. One of the main reasons I have married such a wonderful person and have such a stable relationship is because of the kind of man my father is.

I'm a lucky girl

Never accept an expert's opinion if it violates your own because the experts can change their minds. Obedience to your own truth is the only safe ground to stand on, for only your own explanations will be defensible in court someday.

- Mary Kay Blakely

It's funny how we have this expression of "old souls" and there seems to be people that we can easily separate into the two groups, old souls and new souls.

My youngest brother is like that. He is someone I would definitely be able to describe as an old soul. He has a quiet kind of wisdom that maybe only the youngest of five siblings would have. Perhaps there was so much going on around him that he didn't bother trying to compete with the chaos, he just sat back and observed.

Wow, is it nice outside!

I'm beginning to really like mornings. Getting up before the rest of the house, letting the shower wake me, finding out which clothes I have outgrown overnight and finally settling on something to wear, wandering downstairs to eat breakfast and look at the garden outside.
It's great - but I really need to weed that garden again...

The nice, and I suppose sometimes not so nice, thing about living by the ocean is that it never really gets smok'in hot here. There is always a cool breeze. So, if you are a sweater fanatic like me, once the sun starts to set, you put on any choice of nifty sweaters. As well, when it IS smok'in hot, you can always catch a breeze coming off the water that will cool you down and evaporate the sweat.

Does that induce any of my Edmonton to friends to visit me yet?.....

Today is D and my fourth wedding anniversary.

What can I say, I feel blessed.

I know he doesn't like it when I get too mushy or sentimental but it's hard to contain my excitement sometimes.
I was watching him on the squash court yesterday and I couldn't believe I was married to such a beautiful and intelligent and thoughtful man.

I feel blessed.

OK...

Bassinette: check
Baby Crib: check
Mattress: check
Sheets: check
Bumper Pad: check
Rocking Chair: check
Various Assortment of Baby Clothes: check
Beginning Collection of Children's Books: check

new additions to the list....

Stroller: check
Car Seat: check
(thank-you Bernice and Wray)

Apparently, Jogging Strollers are not good for babies under the age of 6 months (shak'n baby syndrome) so we got the best of both worlds. A stroller that has three wheels for better mobility and yet the baby can lay down, as they are apt to do at that young age - before I start my marathon training...

haha, who am I kidding.