I am continually calling Emergency-911 from my work.


It's not that there are a whole lot of emergencies - at least they are not emergencies that the people from 911 can help us with...


I do a lot of long distance calls to publishers in Eastern Canada and the US. This requires a lot of phoning in the beginning of my day in order to get in during their work hours. Those East Coasters don't know how good they have it - we may have the good marijuana but they have the Eastern Standard Time on their side.


As well, to get out of the bookstore you must first dial "9".


So you can see what's happening. I'm in a early morning fog, rushing everything in while trying to get other deadline such affairs in order while dialing and pressing the code to get to a certain rep.... blah blah blah


I press "9", then find my publisher's number by my phone, all the while pressing "1", then finding the number and dialing, "1-800-***-&#!$".


Can you see how I do it?


The lady at 911 must think I'm a tool.

I feel sad today.


Franklin is doing so incredibly well in daycare. When I check in with his caregiver at the end of the day she always says,

"Yup, a good day. It's always a good day with Franklin...."

and then she'll go on to tell me about something strange/cute/funny/daring he has done. She isn't just kissing my ass. Franklin is really doing well.


I still go there every lunch hour. I miss him all morning and look forward to the mid-day visit (I'm sure I'll loosen the strings by the time he's 16 - I promise I won't go on his dates with him...).


Why sad then?


Sad because there is a good chance there will be no room for Franklin in the Toddler program at the university centre. It is harder to get through the wait-list to the next program because the children stay there longer. We've been assured that he is on the "internal" wait-list which is faster but it probably won't help. Franklin turns 19 months on May 01, 2004. There are not a lot of toddler shuffle in the spring - late summer, yes, but not the spring.

To make matters worse, there are a bunch of infants who are just a couple of months older than Frank and are therefore, ahead of him on the list. There will have to be a lot of shuffle to snag ourselves a spot by the May 01 date.


So... I'm back on the daycare hunt. I know he'll get a spot by August/September so I'll need temporary care until then.


Yuk, it is so depressing to look for care. There are so many crappy people providing daycare, trying to make a living at it. I feel that daycare isn't the way to make a profit. Yes, I understand this is the way this society runs but pleeeease let me find some non-profit, grant-funded, ECE run toddler centre with more than one sleeping space and a philosophy of respect and diversity.


Mom? Dad? How do you feel about living out here for awhile?

Aube Breton-Elleouet was in Alert Bay on Sunday night, returning a native headdress seized under Canada's notorious potlatch law in 1922.

The headdress, known as the yaxwiwe, was discovered in the collection of the famed French surrealist Andre Breton.


The potlatch is a native ceremony with ritual dances, songs, costumes and most importantly a giving of gifts to one another.

Apparently, the Canadian government declared the potlatch illegal in an effort to assimilate the native population. I've been told they also believed that these offerings of material wealth were detrimental to survival and would therefore be doing the natives a favour by preventing the practice.


Of course, the potlatch went on in secret. One ceremony was discovered in a remote village near the mouth of Knight Inlet. The punishment? Oakalla prison or giving up all the possessions reserved for the ceremony (protect them from themselves, my ass...).
About 200 items were seized from the Kwakwaka'wakw. They have got most of their collection back but this new discovery was unexpected.


There are a couple of museums who refuse to give up their piece of the collection (UBC Museum of Anthropology and London's Natural History Museum).


The entire story sounds pretty fascinating. The way Breton acquired the piece and what returning the headdress represents for the people of Alert Bay. Among the other amazing artifacts Andre Breton had before he died were painting by Salvador Dali, Miro, Magritte, photos by Man Ray, books signed by Freud...


wow

There was a boy I once dated, lets call him Jacob (because that was the name he answered to).

I wanted him because he was respected among all the idiots in highschool as well as the witty guys who hung out in the library, who thought politics and philosophy was a humorous sport. He made my older brother silent. He smiled at me like I was pretty and he had a strange laugh.

I know he had a rough batch of love after we left each other. I know he is happy now and is a teacher.
I don't look him up in google.
I feel that I am a better person for having known him - perhaps not as well as I wished, but at least as intimately as I knew how at the time.

I forget what he looks like.

Our computer is in a perpetual state of "SAFE MODE". It's annoying and frustrating. I've tried everything and it looks like I'll have to reinstall Windows?!?! How the hell do I do that? It seems like a shifty way to completely screw your computer up if you ask me.

yuk

I hate posting when the computer looks so crappy. It's all about esthetics, baby.

Walking across the street tonight, lost in thought about the board meeting I was just at, I was very nearly run over by a city bus.

I'm telling you the truth. All those stories you hear of people being run over by buses (or urban myths/jokes/threats, what-have-you) could have been a lot more real for all the dirtyolive readers around the globe. You would have probably read a little obituary, perhaps in Moxee or Chair's weblog, to sadly reveal the reason for my prolonged absence.

My Mother, who reads this daily, is probably shaking her head and marveling at how things never change. Many moons ago, actually about 24 years to the day, I was very nearly run down by a bus. We lived very close to the school and I was proudly crossing the street, followed closely by the keen eyes of my mother at the living room window. I wanted to catch up with the pretty lady who had already crossed. The cross-walker had already returned to the far side of the road and traffic had started but, as D can verify, I have the concentration skills of a deaf surgeon and was only concentrating on? - following the pretty lady of course.
The next thing I saw was the front grill of a bus (they were flat nosed back then and therefore, very very close). The driver was leaning on the horn. I could smell the... "bus-burning-rubber-brakey-thing" smell.

All very scary. I'm sure even more scary for my Mother who was watching the whole thing happen - most likely in slow motion.

I may have some bus killing karma coming to me from somewhere. What a weird way to die.

Of course, Franklin has given me his cold. I should have thought of this and loaded up on vitamin C on Friday while I took care of him.
This cold is awful. My head aches, I'm incredibly stuffed up and it is nearly impossible to sleep. I feel terrible that Franklin went through this.

Being at home last week was interesting though. I had forgotten the telemarketers that call once and hour, and the super nice handy-man from Serbia that likes to talk about his country with me. I traveled through there - between wars - and it was beautiful. We talked about the burned houses with families still living in them. I could see one entire side of a house destroyed and a family sitting down to eat in the kitchen. It was like a life-size doll house - a scene I will never forget.

Later Friday afternoon a man came to my door to sell some kind of money-making scheme from the internet. I was about to put Franklin down for a nap and said no right away. Apparently I was too abrupt for him as he rudely retorted that he could help me "get out of this place". I laughed at that remark and closed the door. What the hell is he talking about? This place is very nice, has he seen the rental properties for young families around this rich city?

I love the fact that there are native Russian, Irish, East Indian and Aboriginal people all living together. I love hearing the kids running around the place. We never heard that while living in the wealthier neighbourhood, by the ocean. I couldn't stop in next door and borrow a spice or some laundry detergent.

This is a community and I will be sad to leave it.

Franklin is just getting over his first cold. I took the day off work yesterday to hang out with him. He had a fever and couldn't breathe out of his nose. He was so plugged up and kept scratching his neck like it was sore. There was no way he could go to daycare like that.

We spent the day watching Baby Einstein videos and walking around the house. He seemed to just want to cuddle - which was fine with me. I was worried about his fever of course, but cuddling with Franklin is always a good time for me.

Things are finally starting to return to a relatively moderate level of stress.

The noise from the crowds have subsided and hopefully, any books that will sell out have been discovered. A large part of my job right now is to trace the books that have not arrived at the store yet. Most emergencies are either hopeless (and the professors have been forewarned) or they are on their way.

That over with, we have been fighting a battle on another front.
Franklin's naps at daycare haven't been as long as usual. I have been trying to emphasize the importance of naps with his care-giver and I was worried that it was falling on deaf ears. Sure, he was napping as long as many of the other kids. However, Franklin is used to a lot more. He's two months younger than the youngest child there - this makes a big difference.
When I would visit him at lunch he would be over-tired. He had this maniac laugh and would get really worked up over the smallest thing (yelling "duck duck duck quack quack quack" at the top of his lungs).
It was strange. I feel that most of society is under-nourished and overtired and I want to teach Franklin how to eat well and get enough sleep. I feel it's important not only for his sanity but for his future development and behaviour.

Hopefully things have changed. Today he slept for an hour longer than any previous nap. I gave his care-giver some suggestions and they worked! I'm so relieved. All those months of careful sleep teaching were being threatened.

He was a much saner, well-adjusted and calm baby today. I was able to recognize Franklin again.

Franklin is in a stage where he wants to copy everything we say. He points at something and usually says "duck". Then I will tell him what he is really looking at/touching/hearing. He looks at me, watches my mouth, and then will try to say the word himself. Most of the time the word he pronounces is only a partial sound such as this morning, "ausssss" for horse.

It's so amazingly cute and incredible to watch. He is learning so much. There is so much to know. His brain is a big sponge, absorbing everything.

I have to remember that it is still not that different for me, even now. I've started a new book to go along with my non-fiction, something that I've been wanting to read for a long time. I'm excited.

oh... my.... god...

Read mimi smartypants' blog on September 7th. I don't think I've laughed that hard over a blog. It is probably even funnier because a good friend of mine came over on Saturday and we had a bit of a discussion on the the whole double-headed dildo thing.

You know L? I never got to tell you what I think about them! You'll have to come over again soon - I think there is still at least two bottles of wine left somewhere...

I have new interview questions from brixton:

1. How did you and D meet?

One Christmas holiday, D came into a waaay too trendy gay bar where I was working as a server. Many of the friends he was bar-hopping with took one look at the pictures of the explicit male nudes on the wall and left. D saw me and excused himself to get more cash. I saw him and stole his table from another server. We both felt something incredibly powerful right away. There was no question what was happening. Needless to say, I also made a lot of money that night...

2. What is your favorite holiday cookie or treat? And yes, it can be any holiday and any kind of treat.

I love pumpkin seeds from a night of Hallowe'en carving - especially with a little jalapeno sprinkle.

3. What is your personal philosophy?

My personal philosophy... wow. I guess when it comes to anyone asking me my opinion of an issue I tend to study all sides. I don't believe in black and white - but I also don't believe in sitting on the fence. I don't think there are right and wrong answers to very many things. I believe in examining each case as it comes. I suppose I believe in a hell of a lot of things and I find it hard not to believe in much. I felt a large connection to the book, "The Life of Pi" and not for the obvious reasons of religion and faith. I believe in what is outside is also inside and what is inside can also be found outside. I believe in chaos theory and the im-permanence (is that a word?) of the universe.

I am also, obviously, a true believer in babbling like an idiot.

4. How do you feel about pirates?

As in Peter Pan or in the real thing? I must admit I don't know a lot about real pirates. I'd have to look into that before I told you my feelings surrounded the whole pirate "lifestyle"...

5. What do you wish you would've done before Franklin was born?

Perhaps I would have liked to live in another country for awhile - France, Budapest, Iceland... I don't really feel it is something I can't do now though. In fact, it would be very special to see Franklin grow up in a different culture for awhile - not noticing the cultural differences as much as D and I would.

Oh, on second thought, it would be nice to have finished my Masters. It's pretty slow going right now. Hopefully things pick up soon though.

The university daycare is wonderful. I know Franklin would not be getting such quality care from anywhere else except at home with D or I. The only unfortunate thing is that there a couple of children there who have the temperament to cry and scream if they are unhappy.


Thankfully, Franklin has not turned out to be one of those kids. I used to think Franklin was loud, animated and perhaps a bit demanding. Well, he is loud and animated but definitely not demanding. Shows how much of a first time mother I am. I look at 6 or 7 children around me while pregnant or while Frank is young and make the snap decision that Franklin is a crazy, wild child.


Franklin is one of the most easy going, happy kids around! I suppose I haven't given him credit in the past for how accommodating the whole move has been and the transition between D and I being his caregiver. Even the leap to daycare has been incredibly easy. Not easy for me mind you - but he seems to be having a blast.


However, back to the screamers.

There is nothing wrong with your child choosing to scream as a form of communication. In fact, I think it is probably a sign of a well honed, evolutionary survival tactic. This is surely the case in daycare. The ones who scream have to be attended to first. I know everyone there tries to give attention to all the children equally but when one is screaming and screaming and screaming it will eventually start off a couple more in a escalating round of empathetic mood channeling.

No one wants a room of unhappy babies.


So, will Franklin learn to scream to get what he wants? That won't go over well with me and I'm sure D won't have a lot of patience for it. Will he get the short end of the stick at daycare and be starved for attention? Will his pension for climbing to unsafe heights go un-noticed as a screamer is having an emergency? Am I worried (aka: freaking out) for nothing?


I know he is having fun there. It is times like this when I am grateful that the ration of caregiver to child is so low (1:3). There is probably no need to worry that Franklin will be neglected.... is there?