I forgot to mention something.

Since I don't have a computer at home - except for the laptop D brought home from work for the weekend - I don't have access to my shaw email account. Therefore, anyone who has emailed me for the last two weeks will not be getting a response for a while.

I wasn't sure that was clear. I am not able to access that account unless it is set up on my home computer. It's frustrating to say the least - especially since I've been waiting for a special email from my good friend Jen.

Oh, and anyone from the bookclub - what time are we meeting on Friday?

Man, you'd think I had lost the ancient art of the phone call...

Yesterday I had a day off from work! After dropping Franklin off at daycare I headed downtown for my day of leisure…

Day of leisure my ass, I spent two hours waiting in a doctor’s office for the pleasure of experiencing my yearly pap smear. Normally I don’t mind waiting, I’ve worked in a doctor’s office and understand how things can get backed up but these were precious hours to me and every minute seemed like a waste.

Then, to add to the problem, apparently my thyroid is looking a little suspect. I’m not sure what this means exactly but I had to go across the street to wait in the lab in order to get some blood work done.

argh.

I don’t really think I could have anything wrong with my thyroid. I do feel tired but I’m certainly not having any trouble with my metabolism.

Ah, who knows…. well, I suppose I will… in two weeks…

I also got a start on Christmas presents! I bought some cool, plain, glass tumblers from a thrift store and will start an etching design for them this weekend. I’m not sure who I’ll be giving them to just yet. I suppose it all depends on the design.

Edit: The rest of October 2003 has been lost. We can all blame Yahoo for this.

Boooooo Yahooooo.

I was so, so, so tired with being pregnant. My Mother and I had just had an extremely full day and I was exhausted. I finally made my way upstairs to have a nap at about 4:30 in the afternoon but I thought I had to go to the bathroom - again. I stood up and liquid started to drip between my legs. I couldn't hold it in! There was a little pink puddle on the floor and I thought, "This must be it! This must be my water breaking!"
I remember feeling excited and scared - like I was about to speak before a large audience. I thought I knew what was coming but I wasn't sure how I was going to handle it.

My Mom and I called D - who couldn't hear the cell because his earphones were on...

He came home to two very excited women and when I told him my water had broken the look on his face was priceless. Yi!

Things didn't really start for a little while. I tried to get some sleep but I was too excited. We made sure we had everything packed. I thought about eating - too excited. Then, the hard labour began.

I don't remember times or details. I was concentrating on breathing too much. I remember the mid-wife, Deanna, on the phone being very calm about it. I remember my Mom not being so calm about the midwife being so calm. D was great, but I have no idea if he was calm. He and my Mom were with me throughout the whole thing - timing the contractions.
Finally, I felt this incredible urge to push. It was overwhelming. Deanna was not there yet. My Mother told D to make sure she got "her ass over here!". Hilarious.

Breathing through the contractions and not pushing was hard. It was difficult to keep on top of the process. It took an incredible amount of concentration and I recommend yoga and my Mother for any pregnant women out there!
Once Deanna arrived she found I was already 8 cm dilated! No drugs for Ada - too far along even if I wanted them. I was actually very pleased I had made it that far and hadn't even thought of drugs. I had imagined it would be a lot harder than that.

However, the trip to the hospital was eventful - kneeling in the van trying to breathe through the contractions, knowing D was having to concentrate on driving, feeling my Mom's hand between my legs in case the baby came on the way there...

I remember the emergency room as a crowded blur and was so thankful that Deanna had everything prepared. I could not imagine getting there alone and trying to organize through a maze of hospital wards and nurses.

Our lights in the room were dimmed and for what seemed like hours, I hung out in the shower with D - breathing, visualizing a clear, smooth passage for our bay, breathing, not pushing, breathing.

I remember sitting on the toilet pushing and pushing and pushing.
I remember the burning sensation and Johnny's song, "Ring of Fire" started going off in my head. People say it is a relief to finally begin to push, and it is, but it is also frustrating. Two steps forward, two steps back. I could feel his head coming through and then slipping back in.

Then, D said something to me. I don't remember what it was but I felt incredibly strong all of a sudden. I pushed with a strength I didn't think I had. The baby's head finally stopped slipping back! The burning was intense but it was exciting. I knew things were close.

I waddled back to the bed and lay down on my left side. They set up a mirror so I could see what was happening and it was beautiful. Things were progressing quickly now. All of a sudden, Deanna and my Mother told me to stop pushing. I couldn't. I wanted to, I knew there was a problem - the umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck - but I couldn't stop. My body took over.
Thankfully, the cord was so long, the baby was never without oxygen.

Then, he was out and on my chest - confused and cold and so, so beautiful. When I look though the pictures now - of his little wrinkled, red body and his big hands. I remember the first sound of his helpless cry... oh oh oh!

Happy Birthday Franklin. I love you.