For me, adopting a child has always been something I assumed I would do in the future. There was no dismal prediction of infertility. I didn't think pregnancy was gross. For some unknown reason, it seemed to a natural thing to do, and something that I was going to do. As I was talking to my sister the other night, she said that she can even remember me playing "adoption" with my dolls. I didn't think anything about it was odd - until now.

I had a roommate who was adopted as a baby. She was/is realistic about it, as she was/is realistic about everything. She told me that although it was weird to know that some of her siblings were adopted and some were born from her parents, she wasn't traumatized. In fact, out of it all, she recommended that anyone, adopted or not, should go through some sort of therapy. "It's just good for you", she said, "It was good for me". Of course now, in retrospect, I think she may have been trying to tell me something...

I've had another roommate who gave her baby up for adoption privately. It was heart wrenching and incredibly brave. I had no idea of the magnitude of courage her act required until I gave birth to my own son. I wish I had known. I wish I had hugged her more. In fact, when I read a blog about a birthmother's quest for the perfect adoptive parents (because there seems to be a blog about everything - Thank God), I wish I could hug her right now. (So, consider this a big internet hug)

I've also been reading other blogs who have gone, or are going, through adoptions - both international and domestic. Blogs such as Mimi Smartypants and Greener Pastures have been great. Mimi for the sarcasm, Greener Pastures for those yelling at the computer, "You Tell 'Em!", moments.

The other day I mentioned here that I've been thinking about orphanages in the Ukraine quite a bit. Specifically, Kramatorsk, Ukraine. I've been perusing a number of adoption sites and reading as much as I can about international adoption. Typical sites such as Adoption.com and Canada Adopts. I still feel like we have a lot more research to do before we can make a decision to do this. Hell, it took me three years to decide to get pregnant.

What has struck me the most are the reactions I have been getting from the small, select amount of people I have told.

I have yet to get a true, positive response. I don't mean to say I am getting aggressive questions from everyone, but I have certainly not got the same reaction as if I were to say, "I'm pregnant!"
I suppose, since I've already been a birth mother to Franklin, people don't quite understand the rational? It all makes me a little defensive and I immediately start to get into explanations, which I don't think should be required. No one asked for my reasons for getting pregnant.
Man, I even start to pull up photo adoption sites and have been accused of "shopping for babies". I suppose those sites can make it seem that way. However, to answer a couple of the questions:

Yes, you're right, we won't know the medical history. It'll be okay.

No, it's not that I don't want to have another child of my own. Breast-feeding was hard, but I'm not traumatized.

Yes, you're right, there could be all sorts of things "wrong" with "it". Yes, Franklin does seem to have good genes - um... thanks, we worked hard at that.

No, I don't think I'll be putting Franklin's childhood at risk. I suppose it's a bit of a nature versus nurture debate, but I don't believe that children from orphanages are doomed to be damaged.

Yes, this baby could have a different nationality. No, I don't think this is a problem.

Cultural imperialism? Yes, well, what would you suggest then? Tell me what are the alternatives. Please.

There are horror stories everywhere with terrible experiences of non-bonding and fetal alcohol syndrome. However, unfortunate things happen to birth parents too. We can't control everything.

I understand that most people have our best interests at heart. At least, I think they honestly believe they do. I appreciate about 80% of what has been pointed out to me simply because it has come from the heart, and I should know how people close to me feel about adoption.
Nevertheless, I don't think this is such as extreme decision. There are children who need families. It's really that simple. My parents have always taught me to work from the inside, not fight from the outside. How much further inside can I get than my own family? It's a lazy excuse to think that individuals don't make a difference. All the differences in the world are made by individual people doing individual things. If we start thinking we don't count as individuals, then we are dooming ourselves before we begin. I'm not saying we should all go out there and adopt a malnutritioned child from the Ukraine. I don't even know if we will be able to afford it ourselves. However, these individuals; D, Franklin and myself, are going to give it a good shot.

I'll let you know how it goes.