Perhaps you weren't able to tell.
Perhaps, I've really not strayed from my usual neurotic and obsessed persona.

I've been stressed out lately.

Today is the last day D's work receives clients. This is the beginning of the end. He will be officially out of this type of employment (which he has done for as long as I have know him) by the end of this month.

The MAN of the house will not be receiving a REGULAR PAYCHEQUE anymore.
The WOMAN of the house holds the REGULAR PAYCHEQUE and ALL HEALTH BENEFITS from here on end.
(I know, I know... but it's the automatic response - pathetic and scary as it is)

D does have a job. It's an amusing one which will eventually have an end that will satisfy it's means but... IT'S NOT REGULAR. As in it's causal, as in they call him in when they need him, as in we can't count on it.

So, I've been a little stressed out about all this role changing, bread-winning, less money, turn down the heat, food on sale only, turn off that light, TURN OFF THAT LIGHT!!!! cost cutting measures.

Franklin's feeling the crunch because he hasn't a new train in I don’t know, 2 weeks maybe? Even then, it was Grandma and Taita buying the vehicles.
His parents have let him down.

Won't be the first time kid.

Don't get me wrong. I think we'll be okay and everything turns out and I don't want to make D feel bad....

Okay, I just wrote, "I think we'll be okay and everything turns out" but I don't really mean it.
I have to come clean. The only statement there that was in any way truthful was that I don't want D to feel bad.

I think I've been doing okay with all of this until today.

Okay, that's a lie too.

Someone explain to me how people with normal jobs and lives can afford to adopt a baby?!?!!!!

The only saving grace is that D is completely and utterly calm about all of this. He's the one who's truthfully saying, "Everything’s going to be okay, it always turns out okay". In fact, this is a direct quote:

I think if I didn't have Franklin I might be affected by all this crap at work. But it just doesn't matter and I'm glad I don't care. I guess it's nice to have people tell you that you made a great difference in the community and how sad it is that the government shut down your organization. I guess it's nice. But at the same time I'm tired of people asking me what I am going to do next. I usually tell them I've worked steadily for the past 8 years ...and I might just see what the alternative gets me.

That statement right there tells me that I've married the right person. I will stress out, make plans, change plans, make more plans, stress out again, make alternative plans to the first plans, and stress out...

D will lay back and tell me to breathe.

Breathe Ada.