I find a lot of "career women" to be really insecure and judgmental about those of us who stay at home and i find the stay at home moms to be all defensive of their choice and self riteous. not everyone, but i see it a lot. and i "work" 6 hours a week at a daycare, but i am really a SAHM who doesn't work. i am blathering.
Jen,
I find that too. It's funny, I have more friends who stay at home than who don't and there is none of that strange crappiness. However, place me in a park with other mothers and the fact that I'm don't normally take my son to the playground in the middle of the day with my latte in hand, and all of a sudden I'm pulled into insane conversation like this one true example,
"I suppose you think I'm not ambitious. Money isn't a priority in OUR house."
*&%@$#*!!!
Perhaps my friends know why we made the decision we made and I know why they made the decision they've made and that's why we aren't making stupid remarks to each other.
Still, I just assume that if you stay at home, you either chose to or you had to - either way, you win in some department because hanging out with your kid is, for the most part, incredibly rewarding. Why the hell do they assume I think they are any less of a person?
AND!!!! Why how can they assume I'm a cold hearted career bitch? I mean, they're completely right, but why assume? I'll tell them! I only had kids because it made me look softer and maternal.
And it gave you that nice curvy, broad hip thing, too, right?
Maybe it's just hard for some women to feel like the are Revolutionized/Feminist Modern Woman sort of women when they're playing the Traditional House Wife SAHM mom role while their husband partner is out bringing home the bacon. Their insecurities about their role in society are really THEIR insecurities and they're meatlumps for broadcasting them onto working moms to try and make themselves feel better.
There's a good chance that I'll be going back to work in a month, at least temporarily and it's both terrifying and exhilerating.
I find the term "Stay ay Home Mom" a little odd, and frankly, inaccurate. It brings to mind a home arrest, Martha Stewart in an ankle bracelet kind of situation.
I would describe myself as more of a "Stay at the Grocery Store Mom", or even a "Stay at the Park Mom" most of the time...
Hey there. I got "referred" to your blog by an article in my local (Nanaimo) paper that said that your blog was one of the 6 best in Canada. Were you aware of that?!? It's quite an honour, I'm sure. I just wanted to let you know that I like reading your well written, insightful blog, ha ha. I (so far) am a SAHM and although I chose to be one (we decided that because I'm "unskilled" it wouldn't make sense for me to work for min. wage and pay for someone ELSE to look after our kidlet), and it IS quite rewarding; However, I sometimes envy my husband for being able to leave the house to go to work! But good for you for doing what you want to do, and being a good parent at the same time. (I can tell, just by looking at the silly signs you made for your front door)
I've stayed at home with all my kids....the oldest is now 20 and the youngest 2....I think I no longer have the power to think straight never mind judge the working moms! Oh but for the day when I stay at home and get to send all my kids out to work..that'll be the day to crack open the scotch won't it?!
Ada: While I'm a sahm right now, I haven't always been nor do I plan to always be. You're dead on though - when I meet other sahms in the park or at play dates, I'm amazed at how sure they are of themselves just based on the fact that they don't work. I'm lucky I don't have to, but I have no doubt I'd do just as good a job as a parent if I did. Long reply short, I hear you and you're dead on. :)
Eve: Preach it, sister.
Miss Domestic,
The comments are approved before they are posted. I'm working on some sort of notification to avoid confusion. Sorry.
Is this a classic case of the grass being greener and blah blah blah? I stay home, thinking that having a job would be great, yet know that if I were working somewhere I'd want to be home. I've come to realize that everybody's home looks really good from the outside, and lots of people aren't willing to admit that they aren't living the pottery barn/ll bean dream, and that having a family is really hard and at some times we all suck really bad at it.
Ada a woman's place is in the home! I don't understand why D buys you shoes anyway. Now get back into the kitchen.
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Ok lady...just come right out and say my name! LOL