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April 12, 2006
Do what I do, not what I say

Hot Wheel Memories (with reflected self)
Originally uploaded by pinhole.
When Franklin first started to talk there was a lot of imitation and pronunciation of every word under the sun. Everything was "What's that?" What's that?" What's that?"

It was entertaining at first and normal routine by the end.

"What's that?"
A squirrel

"What's that?"
A duck

"What's that?"
A tree

"What's that?"
A Shoe

"What's that?"
A pimple - look over there! A moose!

These days, it's a whole new slew of questions, but now they require more concentration:

"What does Custom mean?"

"What is a Gypsy?"

"Where are the leprechauns?"

"Why is my hair curly?"

"What are genes?"

It's a funny feeling, being my son's main lexicographer. I'm beginning to feel like Dr. William Charles Minor. His definitions will forever be tainted with our feelings about the environment, manipulative consumption and society's treatment of the mentally ill as we answer his questions as to where the garbage goes, why commercials seem louder in the movie theatre than the actually movie and the reason for the man walking down the street yelling and punching the air (ironically).

I know this is part of parenting, showing your children your views of the world, but isn't another large part of parenting the ability to let them think for themselves? My parents were good at that. I say this because I always thought they were wrong (har). Perhaps, in time, Franklin will understand that D and I don't know all the answers and that we are doing the best that we can with what we know. Perhaps I'm just jumping ahead of myself.

However, this absolute trust in our definitions of things can be hard. The other night, Franklin asked me the following question:

"What is an army tank for, Mom?"

That's such a loaded question.
It's one that I know will bring on so much more,

"What's war?"
"What do soldiers do?"
"What do they do fight / kill / destroy?"

I have a choice here. I can be obscure and evade the question with a vaguely true definition, or I can face it head on.

I evaded.

"Army tanks are big vehicles with strong treads so they can drive over a lot of rubble and dirt"

"What's rubble?"

See, that line I can handle.

rubble n. 1. A loose mass of angular fragments of rock or masonry crumbled by natural or human forces. 2.
a. Irregular fragments or pieces of rock used in masonry. b. The masonry made with such rocks.

Except that my "masonry" was brinks and bits of building. However, I forgot that I was talking to the patron saint of all things inanimate.

"Why do the buildings fall down?"
(worried)

"Oh, some building fall down, Franklin. It's a good thing. This means construction workers can come in and build new buildings."

"oh"

"Are there army tanks downtown, Mom?"
(There is a lot of condo construction going on in our city)

"No, Franklin. Not yet. We don't have that kind of rubble."
(worried)
Posted by Ada
Comments

You could have given him the line we are given in recruitment adverts. They are for speading peace and good moral values through out the world. They also pay your way to a good career in technology. ( they also bash through walls, run over cars and stuff that part is pretty cool realy in a monster truck kinda way) :)

Posted by: Marc @ 04.13.2006 8:33 AM | #

I suppose if he had asked me, "What does that army tank do?" as pointed to one on the base here in Victoria/Esquimalt, I could start talking about our country's forces and what they are supposed to stand for. However, he was asking about all army tanks and most army tanks deal with scarier concepts than peacekeepingg, good moral values throughout the world and a great way to pay for post-secondary education.

Posted by: Ada @ 04.13.2006 9:23 AM | #

Folks are often wanting to educate and empower their children with truths. There is such a small window where the world is pure and they in it. I am one to encourage that they remain in that place for as long as possible ...

Posted by: Beverlee @ 04.13.2006 6:21 PM | #

Hey, we worry about the same thing. Do we give the little babe the full explaination (we don't talk baby talk to her for anything, not even stupid nicknames for gentalia) or do we evade like you wrote and give her as general of an idea as possible so she can figure out how she feels. Our daughter is 5 years old though and although Franklin seems bright, perhaps the evasion is better for now. He's still pretty young. He's still in preschool, right? After awhile, you will know what he can handle and if he's mature enough to form his own opinions about things and be able to talk to your about them without becoming too distracted to talk about it. Just my 2 cents for what they are worth.

Posted by: Jonathon @ 04.13.2006 8:37 PM | #

First, thank you for your comments on my blog. It means so much to have others out there that stop by with a kind word.

I can relate to this post! Both my kids ask me questions that at times are so hard to answer. Why is there war? Why does God allow kids to me murdered? Why do some kids have parents that are bad people?
Sometimes I have the answers but other times I don't. Or I know the answer, sort of, but I haven't quite figured it out myself yet. All kids expect is honesty. Sometimes you have to take a big breath, swallow hard and tell it like it is!

Thanks again.

Posted by: Barbara @ 04.13.2006 9:29 PM | #

I think all tanks are supposed to be used for good and glory. German troops had "God is with us" stamped on their belt buckles. Their cities were bombed by planes called "Liberators". Smith and Wesson makes a hand gun called the "peace maker" . We crusade to take the holy land for God. We fly airplanes into buildings and yell "God is great". We kill civillians and steal the land they had lived on for thousands of years because it was promissed to us by God thousands of years before that.
I think we make things like tanks for all kinds of great reasons that we make up to excuse our bad behavior and plus I think deep down we are all a bit facinated with the distructive power of these things. Don't get me wrong war is awfull but I'd pay to drive a tank over some old car or fly in a jet fighter. Even if it is pointless. Wow that was long winded! Sorry Ada I don't mean to sound like a smart ass. It's sad, really I agree .

Posted by: marc @ 04.14.2006 10:14 AM | #


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