So I find that if I log on to the laptop at home, one version of my weblog universe comes up - the one I normally see at work (on my break of course). Then, if I log on to the main computer with the gorgeously large screen we received for Christmas, I see the original version, the one with the majority of the comments and the one I think most people are seeing - but I'm not sure because by golly people just don't comment anymore...

Oh man.
Franklin is upstairs crying and it's breaking my heart not to come to his aid.

I've found I have to step back a bit more these days. Franklin needs to know that Dad can handle the messy moments just as well as Mom. For awhile there, it was nothing but me. Then I stepped back and it was back to normal. Now, since returning from Pender Island, it's been a little clingy again. Most of the folks at the wedding, D went to high school with so he was a bit preoccupied most of the time. This left me and a three year old doing the crab walk down the boardwalk and discussing the rules of Crazy Eights by the fire.
We had a great time, and basically, I told D to bugger off and hang with friends he probably won't see again until someone's funeral... but still, it was a Mom and Franklin all request weekend.

Speaking of the weekend, it was wonderful.
I've never been to Pender Island. My oh my! The construction that is happening all over the place! Real estate is so addictive. It made me want to join in the frenzy and fix ourselves a little hide-a-way somewhere for retirement.... you know while things are cheap?!?

Yes, that's where it the little dream popped.
Whatever. Land owners are bourgeois lay-abouts.
Yeah, that's it...

The highlight of the trip - other than, say, all of it - was the fact that a disposable camera was left in the room for Franklin. At first, the bucket and shovel were the prizes that were pounced upon. Then, the dolphin stickers found there way to everyone's hand. Somehow, the Denman Island chocolate mysteriously left the bucket...

But, after awhile, the camera got a good look over.
The first shot was of his nostrils of course, but after a short while he was priming the flash and positioning the lens like a pro. Of course, there was also the fascination of taking close up shots of my fingernail, the shells on the beach and almost an underwater excursion in the toilet bowl and the inevitable shot under the shirt. However, I'd say that a good 50% of them turned out quite well.

I'll be posting the results tomorrow on flickr.
I'm sure you are all quivering in anticipation.

Yes, an alternate universe!
Stay with me.

In this alternate universe, the "Happy Kid" post never happened.
That's right.
It neeeeeever happened.

In that alternate universe, there is a post lamenting the fact that I have lost the last three April entries. This means that this alternate universe is devoid of all things connected to dirtyolive and strawberry karma, space obsession or poop.

When I am at work, I see the post lamenting the other posts. Supa and my sister see this universe.
When I am at home, I see “A Happy Kid” and this little dribble you are currently reading – as does Barbara, Jess and Andrea.

Can someone, with more geek skill than I obviously have, explain this to me? I recently changed nameservers. Is this the problem?

Regardless, I know you are all breathing a sigh of relief that this is the side of the universe that still is privileged to read such incredibly "been there, done that" material.

The “been there, done that” is a teasing reference to a woman who may mistakenly think I am angry with her for presuming that I, with the one child, is so sufficiently fascinated with my life that I will post anecdotes on the internet about my son but which anyone who has already had a child has.... “been there, done that” and oh... yawn.
Yaaaaawwwwwn.

I’m kidding, Jess.

There is no way on earth that I would be angry with you for speaking your mind on your blog. I didn’t feel like you were slamming me - or my one child family. You were talking about what it feels like to be a family with four kids in a world where people seem to think one or two children are enough, for whatever reason.

If I were mad, I wouldn’t be talking about it on the net.
I would be marching right up to your blessed doorway and snapping my fingers like an idiot. Ha. Yeah, right. That would be funny though.

Seriously, I'm not mad.
I understand it is all part of the mother debate going on and the big hubbaloo surrounding that infamous book. To me, it's not only exclusionary because the world (including the blogosphere) seems to concentrate on the single child families - although I can see your point.

If you are going to start commenting on who is excluded in the mother who works versus the mother who stays at home, then lets open the picture to both the multi family households and the women who work because they have no other choice. You feel there is little choice to be a SAHM because of the size of your amazing family. I feel there are far more who do not have the choice to stay at home OR have more children due to simple finances.

(And here, my other friend, Charity will scoff at my constant beef with our society’s invisible classism, which seems to range from Thomas the Tank Engine tales to crappy social commentary best seller books.)

So this book, from what I've learned, is a personal account of many wonderful women and their somewhat different ways of raising their children. Apparently, even Naomi Wolfe feels it is a great representation of “real women everywhere”, which actually surprises me.

You see, the working versus SAHM debate doesn’t exist in my everywhere. However, I have a feeling that Naomi Wolfe lives in a vastly different everywhere than I.

In my everywhere, most families can’t afford to have another child - with or without childcare. There is still a face-off in my everywhere, but it is not this way because women are defending their choice, but out of frustration, insecurity and “the grass is greener” envy of ignorance.

In my everywhere (and perhaps, for Jess), the women who have more than one child do not have a choice to work or not to work. The debate is thrown completely out the window. Thrown out that same window is the feasibility of childcare for multiple children – multiple meaning two or more. Infant care, toddler care, after school care…. Yikes.

In my everywhere, some women weren’t even ready to have one child and now they are doing it alone. SAHM? According to many in society, this is the role of a “nurturing mother” (excuse me while I roll my eyes). If this is the ideal, then why are single mothers on social assistance so vilified? Why does our government try to limit this opportunity? There seems to be a narrow image of a SAHM and I object to this.
(Incidentally, I absolutely love the stupid factoid they give about mental and verbal development on that linked site. Yes, lets makes the “other side” feel like crap too. Yawn)

In my everywhere, there are families who would love to be able to adopt a beautiful child without a stable home but are stopped due to their financial status. Today, I felt like crying as I watched a thirteen-year-old girl testify against her adoptive father’s sexual, physical and mental abuse. SAHM? Working Moms? Who cares! There are children out there who just need a loving home.

What about the Dads who want to stay at home? I have one. I’m sure there is a hell of a lot more. Is that even a question? Nowhere in literature or on the internet do I see this debate. Dads? Stay at home? They don’t bond with their children! They do sporty stuff! They are adoringly removed! They pat heads and straighten collars!
They don’t wake up in the middle of the night! They don’t wipe the noses, bums and tears! They don’t worry about food groups and chemicals and if Jimmy knows how to share.
If I make more than my partner, why is it odd that I would be the one at work? What if I (gasp) enjoyed working and knew my partner would prefer to stay at home? From my experiences, I find it hard to believe those who try to tell me that there is a wire inside mothers that isn’t present in fathers that make staying at home more of a desire for women.

In my everywhere, we are all doing the best we can and yet, everyone thinks that everyone else is doing a less thoughtful, less stimulating and less nutritious job of raising their children.

To me (in both universes) the “right choice” isn’t really much of a choice – either way.

For some reason, and it's odd that I am even remarking on this but whatever, Franklin has been ecstatic the last couple of days.

It's not that he's a normally morose child who likes to pull the legs of spiders or anything, but lately it seems someone has been slipping him happy hyper pills and everything is

YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY!!!!!!

D and I are both entertained by this and slightly curious.

Is he starting to really enjoy preschool? Has he successfully mastered the art of putting on his shoes and zipping up his zipper without a struggle? Would that actually make him such a gleeful dorknut?

Perhaps it's the lack of sugar? He has a stable system now and the lack of highs and low has given him a constant level of something higher than we are used to?

Is it the home videos that he is obsessed with watching? The romp through the snow when he was 2 years old? The day at the beach when he was 18 months? Could seeing himself back then and recognizing his growth make him proud of himself? (for example, see the photomall photo on the right)

Or is it the fact that when we were traveling in the car the other day he asked us what "to die" meant. Once we explained the concept in an abstract but somewhat realistic way, he firmly pronounced that he did not want to die.

wow.
oh wow.
ummmmmmm.

No, Franklin. You aren't going to die.
You aren't going to die.

What else do you say to that?

He seems great though. Perhaps he's living life to the fullest.
He's not going to die.
Today, or ever.

Today, he dances on his tiptoes and tells me that I'm beautiful in his best Johnny Cash impersonation. All of it is to make me laugh and hug him one more time before he goes to bed.