This summer seems to be coming to an end all of sudden. Soon I will be taking Franklin to Grade One. A Big Kids School. A place where there will be more than 7 kids in his class. A place where there will be times that kids will be able to say things and do things and they will not be under constant surveillance by three of four teachers. A place where he could be picked on or worse… pick on others.
I’m scared.
I’m not sure that he’s all that scared though. He talks about how much he is looking forward to it most of the time. Other times he asks me if there are bullies at the school. When I tell him that schools have a No Bullies Allowed rule now I feel like I’m lying. I want to say that there will probably be some real doozies there but that I’m sure he can handle it because he’s a friendly guy who likes people.
What?
I don’t know.
I have a thing with people getting picked on. I used to hang around with kids only because they were the ones getting picked on at school. I’d have absolutely nothing in common with them and we would have nothing to say but there I would be, standing next to them… pretending to be their friend until I lost my concentration and went to join someone else to put dandelions up my nose.
I am
so certain you wanted to be my friend in school, eh?
I was a freak.
Despite the worried thoughts of Franklin going to school in a few weeks, we have had a wonderful summer. I’ve taught him a few things that I think he will be grateful for in the future. Things like:
· Just because someone is mad at you, doesn’t mean they don’t like you
· People can be grumpy one minute and get over it soon afterwards, just give them some time (with their coffee and an internet connection)
· Whining about your lego house coming apart doesn’t mean anyone is going to fix it for you but you
· When someone says they are going to dunk you underwater, they mean it so take a breath and close your mouth
It has been a summer of a lot of great conversations between the two of us. Most of them taking place on long walks or over breakfast and lunch. It has also been a bit of a summer of hard knocks. I have realized lately that we rarely ever yelled at Franklin before (as in before Eliza - insert ominous music here). In fact, he hardly ever made me mad. Frustrated, yes (of course!), but I made sure that I could see his side of the situation and then understand where he was coming from in situations.
What a crock of shit.
This is not how the world works. We get tired. We get busy. We have other needs to place before him at times. We even get irrational and downright grumpy. We spent so much time being the parents we saw in our professional caregivers (the ones with a full lunch hour, two 15 minute breaks and a union) that we weren’t being human.
Welcome to human, my son.
Your mother loves you. She also gets so angry that she leaves the room and sits on the toilet with your sister so that she can calm down. And that’s all okay.
Posted by Ada
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A few days ago I put Jack in the bathtub (dry, with his clothes on) and told him if he was going to keep screaming at me he needed to do it into this towel, then I handed him the towel and closed the door. Very...theraputic? "Welcome to human"is totally what I feel like this summer is for Jack too, and I think it's been good for all of us.